Experiences

Strength in Friendship

"I lost my dear friend , Anne, in May 1995. She was a wonderful person who touched so many lives with her strength, her courage and her sheer zest for living that was to be so cruelly taken away. Anne had that rare gift of making everyone seem special. To the end she worried about others. The void she left is immeasurable and the pain of her loss deeply felt."

Anne was diagnosed as having ovarian cancer in November 1991. When I visited her in hospital her words to me were "I wish I could give you good news. All you seem to have is bad news." Only such a special person as Anne would be concerned about others after receiving such devastating news. To her I wrote "Your pain is my pain and we will face this ordeal together."

Anne began chemotherapy in December and faced this with strength, humour and courage. I cried when she lost her hair but she bought a wig, a wonderful sixties bob which she wore with style. She bought new clothes and became more adventurous in her dress. She accepted the treatment and used it to fire her desire to fight her illness. The chemotherapy kept her safe, she saw it as a crutch and bore the sickness and discomfort with a determined spirit.

During the good times she went out, saw friends, visited restaurants, entertained and lived life to the full. Her life was enriched by many friends and a wonderful husband and family.

After two and half years remission Anne faced more chemotherapy and again bore this with strength, grace and style. At Christmas 1994 she finished her treatment and looked radiant, but soon became unwell. She looked frail but still beautiful. A beauty that came from within.

Anne began her third chemotherapy course but after one session was very ill. It was decided not to proceed. Gradually she stayed in bed and life moved to the bedroom. She knew what this meant and faced the news with courage. During the last three weeks she was not alone for any part of the day or night. I was allowed to share in her death as I had shared her life. We talked and laughed and watched television. She gradually faded away and died, her life ending gently and almost painlessly. To the end she worried about my life. She cared about others more than I would have dreamt possible. But from this tremendous love of others she gained her strength.

As a friend I can only thank Anne's family for their generosity in allowing me to share her death. It was hard, but it would have been harder to have been kept away. I saw Anne's children suffer but grow in strength and maturity as they dealt with their pain. I am not frightened of death.

Margaret, Liverpool

I am One of the Lucky Ones

When my daughter was three years old, I was wheeled into the operating theatre to have my appendix removed. It was night, and this was an emergency. In the morning I woke to discover that instead, my ovaries had been removed. I had joined the big C brigade. I had cancer of the ovaries, and was given a 50/50 chance of survival. My husband was devastated. I did not know what had hit me.

Now, 31 years later, I am very much alive to tell the tale, and I thank God.

Facing that kind of news is a shock to any young woman, with or without children. Not all are as fortunate as I was. Sarah Dickinson's courage is an inspiration. I gladly support her, and those who are setting up this newsletter. It will provide a vital support network to sufferers and their families as they fight against the odds. It will prevent so many from fighting the battle alone.

Newsletters only come alive when its readers contribute to them; letters, stories, tips and funds. This newsletter could make all the difference to one cancer sufferer. It just might give her that vital piece of hope to keep up the fight a bit longer, and who knows, she may even survive.

Grace Sheppard is the author of 'An Aspect of Fear' and 'Pits and Pedestals' (published by Darton, Longman and Todd). Her husband, David Sheppard, who died in March 2005, was Bishop of Liverpool from 1975 -1997