Cancer support
Ovarian Cancer Support
Would you like to:
- Meet other women with OC?
- Share information?
- Give and receive support?
The Seagull Trust is a registered charity offering a fortnightly daytime meeting at the Kath Locke Centre, Hulme, Greater Manchester. It has a free car park with easy access.Meetings last one and a half hours, including refreshments and relaxation, and are open to any woman whose cancer has returned or spread. Chris is professionally qualified and experienced at supporting women with cancer. She can give you more details about the group and put you in touch with other group members. Telephone 0161 284 7181 We'll be glad to hear from you.
Your problem page
Dear Shiela
I'm sure I m not unique in that I feel I coped well with my diagnosis of ovarian cancer and two major operations and many sessions of chemotherapy.
But I have not coped well with the mental torture of misdiagnosis. I visited my CI many times with various symptoms which I now realise were indicative of the cancer. No one thought I had a problem. One GP said I had wind, another said he couldn't feel a mass. I was referred to a gynaecologist who diagnosed fibroids. Eventually I was referred to a surgeon who arranged a week of tests and discovered the cancer.
I torment myself by thinking about all the "if only..." If only I had insisted on being examined by a GP or nurse, because in all the years I visited my GP I only had two cervical smear tests. If only I had the same chances as my relatives who have had breast cancer and were referred straight away, had operations immediately and were under the care of medical staff who worked hard to give them the best chance possible. If only I hadn't let my family down. If only I hadn't trusted my doctors to do their best for me. If only... If only.
My husband and daughters are very supportive and tell me I only did what many people do by believing that everything was OK because that is what the doctor said. I try to remember what my mum told me, "accept the things you cannot change." I do try not to think "If only... If only..
Diane
Peterborough
Dear Diane
Thank you so much for writing to me. I am sorry that you had such a difficult time getting an accurate diagnosis. It really does sound as if you went through a frustrating and painful experience. I think your husband and daughters are right, you did all the things that it was possible for you to do at the time. Hindsight is always clearer - but it is HINDsight. You could not have known then what you know now. Try to limit the time you spend thinking about the past. I know that it is not possible to suddenly stop all the negative thoughts you are tortured by - but you could begin to reduce their power. How about designating a particular time of the day that you will allow yourself to think over all the regrets you have? For instance, you could give yourself permission to concentrate on the ‘If only...' for fifteen minutes after breakfast. When the thoughts come into your mind at other times, tell yourself that "I'll think about that tomorrow morning". In time, you might supplant those thoughts about the past with thoughts about the future. Replace ‘if only... With ‘so what I'll do now is... Maybe your letter gives a good opportunity of reminding people that everyone has the right to ask for a second opinion if you are not satisfied with the diagnosis you have been given. Your letter tells me that you have coped very well with the diagnosis and the treatment of your cancer. I know that you will use this ability to cope well with whatever the future holds for you.
Shiela
Shiela Dainow DCS FBAC has been a counsellor for over 30 years. She is the author of several self-help books, the latest being 44½ Choices You Can Make If You Have Cancer, which she wrote with Jo Wright and Vickj Golding.
