Dealing with diagnosis

Many people will be very shocked by the news, often because they had no idea that their symptoms were going to be due to cancer. Younger women may say 'I didn't think people my age got ovarian cancer', as it is often thought to be a disease of menopausal women. Other women will have had an inkling that they ight have cancer and, although shocked and upset, they may also be relieved that a diagnosis has at last been reached and treatment can begin. Many women feel frightened - of the treatment, of hospitals, of operations, of dying, of pain, of the future, of losing their job. The list goes on.

Because the symptoms of the disease can be vague and non-specific, some women - especially those who've had to fight to get investigations done - will be angry that no one took their problems seriously. Women in this position may also experience heightened anxiety about their long-term outlook.

Some women will avoid the issue, hoping - or pretending to hope - that a mistake has been made in the diagnosis. Others will blame themselves, worrying that they did something to cause the cancer, however unlikely that may be.

Many women will feel sad about the effect the illness will have on their families. Having to leave children to go onto hospital, being unable to spend as much time with them, having to expose them to all the worries and uncertainties of treatment or not being able to have any children.

It is important to acknowledge that it's normal to feel angry, frightened and guilty when going through a stressful experience like being diagnosed with cancer, and it can help to share those feelings. Some women find they can get all the support they need from their family and friends, while others prefer to talk to someone outside their immediate circle. Ovacome's helpdesk offers support and advice, and we can also put you in touch with other women who've had similar experiences.

However you feel, it will take a while for the reality of the situation to sink in and if at all possible it is a good idea to have someone with you at each appointment as it may be difficult to take in all the information that is given. Some doctors will be happy to tape the consultation so that you can play it back later in short bursts.

Some will give you a sheet of information with all the important points on it so that you can read it at home.

Others will be happy for you to get in touch with them or a specialist nurse a few days after the appointment to go over the main the points again or answer any questions. Others will give you an initial consultation followed by another one a few weeks later when decisions about treatment can be made, giving you a chance to think over what you've discussed.