Stopping your treatment
You may get to a point in your treatment when the doctors feel
that despite having tried various treatments they are having no
effect on the cancer. This can be a very difficult time of
readjustment both you and for those you love. If you have not
already done so you may want to consider getting a second opinion.
Some people find this helpful just to check that they have explored
all the options. even if a second opinion does not suggest anything
new.
It is important to remember even though you may not be having
any further active treatment you should still be receiving care.
This maybe from a different team of doctors (often known as the
palliative care team) and you should make sure you know who they
are and how you can contact them. You may find it helpful to meet a
member of the team who will be looking after you.
You may reach a point during your treatment when you feel you
don't want to have any more treatment because the side effects are
outweighing the benefits you are getting . This can be a difficult
decision to make. You will obviously want to discuss this with your
family and friends but it is important to remember that this is
your decision. You have been the person having to undergo the
injections, chemotherapy and side effects. Try and avoid being
pushed into having or continuing treatment that is causing you
distress. It can sometimes help to discuss your concerns and
feelings with someone outside the family.
Occassionally some people are made to feel guilty that they are
not trying hard enough or they are not being positive enough. This
can be very hurtful especially when you are struggling with the
decision yourself. It may help to have someone to explain to
friends and aquaintences what has been happening;
"... despite a lot of treatment the doctors/we have come to
the decision that the cancer treatment does not appear to be
helping and so we are going to be referred to a different team of
doctors who are specialist in dealing with symptoms. Please respect
this decision, it has not been an easy one to reach and we would
like time to adjust to these new circumstances. In time we will
appreciate your help and support..."
Having made that decision you may experience a wide variety of
emotions. You may feel relieved that you are not going to have to
have more chemotherapy and all the tiring hospitals visits that
this entails but feel sad that you have come to the end of active
treatment and the future is very uncertain. Some people look
forward to having more time and energy to do things they have been
wanting to do for a long time.
You may find that having made the decision for no more active
treatment that you want to get your affairs in order. Try not to
spend days on end doing this without breaking it up with more
enjoyable activities. You may also want to make a decision
about where you would like to spend your last days. For many people
this maybe at home with all their family around them. This maybe
possible with the help of Marie Curie Nurses, district nurses
Macmillan Nurses and your GP but it is important to keep your
options open - however much you may want to be at home there maybe
a reason why this becomes difficult and you may need to go into a
hospice or hospital even just for a short time for respite care.
Whilst this is hard it often means that friends and family are able
to spend quality time with you rather than being exhausted from day
to day care.
You may also have more time to spend with your children. You may
want to keep trying to explain to the children what is happening.
This can be very hard and you may want to make use of the resources
that are available in making such things as memory boxes. Winston's Wish is a
charity specifically set up to help with such issues.